Last night. Washed and condition my hair with Shea Moisture. Blow dried my hair. (For ultimate stretching) Set up my hair for Bantu knots.
Washing my hair was lovely as usual. Although I did feel a tad ‘stripy-ness’ I don’t know if I was washing it out too much or the level of warm water was too hot.
I used Ms. Jessie’s Baby Buttercreme to make the hold.
It’s got a nice, soft, butter-milky smell to it. It’s not too strong but still has its fragrance.
I was pretty excited about this one. Once I took it out, I really liked the curl effect it had on it. Take a look!
I think the curls had great definition. However again my hair length got on my nerves. So I placed a beanie over part of it and showed off the part I thought was really pretty.
Not gonna lie, I was pretty insecure about my length when I first took the Bantus Down. Insecure to the point where I seriously contemplated the thought that I should brush it out and blow dry it straight again.
And then….. I thought that was cheating. What is the point of wearing my hair in its natural state if I’m not going wear it for the world to see?
I had a meeting at 4, So I made a deal with myself that if I go to a meeting with my hair the way it was, I could then do whatever else I wanted to do with it.
As I was walking. I noticed some other African American ladies standing by the bus stop. And out of the corner of my eye, I could see that they were watching me….now I’m not a mind reader so who knows why they were thinking.
But me being extremely conscientious could rightfully make a deduction that one reason they could possibly be staring was because of my Hair…?
Maybe, so let me roll with that.
As if natural African American hair is something to be stared at? Or marveled in confusion at? I got a slightly similar reaction when I did my twist out.
He said (not in an offensive way):
“Your hair has got a lot of character going on there.”
I’m kind if cynical so I could’ve taken that offensively or placed it more towards my ‘black girl angst’. But that’s besides the point.
It’s interesting to me that in my own mind wearing my natural hair is like battling the insecurity zone.
It’s trying to not only convince yourself but others that your look is beautiful. And you’re pretty and adorable and gorgeous. I really want to convey that.
I just don’t know if I’m doing it right.
That was a little more deep than I expected but….I am digging it little by little so far.
Until next time